Let ME dress you, Melissa McCarthy!

Posted by Gail Gabrielson at 25 February 2013

Category: Memoir, RANT

Mom and I watched the Oscars last night, as much for the appearances and performances as for the awards presentation. We saw some of the red carpet coverage which now gets its own show on various stations. Can you imagine all the different stops along the red carpet where media types try to coax you in and talk about your dress?  Yikes.

Most of the women gushed about their favorite designers and gave them kudos for creating a jaw-dropping gown. The folks who stage the Grammys had asked the women to please limit the amount of skin showing, and for the most part, the women at the Oscars complied with that discreet request.

There are always going to be some actresses who push the decolletage limit, and let’s face it: if you’ve got it, flaunt it. Actresses dress to be noticed by directors and casting people. That’s how they get scripts to consider. There were a number of stunning dresses, and a number of messy hairdos. That strand of hair hanging in your face isn’t sexy, and it’s only going to get fuzzier as the night goes on and it gets pushed back numerous times.

Thank goodness someone helped Adele find a more flattering dress. The one she wore to the Grammys was a disaster. One critic said she looked like an oven mitt. I’ve seen oven mitts with more flattering prints. It was a huge dress with a huge skirt on a huge woman who happens to be pregnant. And it was truly awful. I thought that was the worst I’d ever seen at an awards show, until Melissa McCarthy took the stage.

She’s Molly from “Mike and Molly,” and made a big splash in the comedy, “The Bridesmaids.” Her role in that movie earned her an Oscar nomination last year. She’s a big woman, and her dress last year was more flattering. As I recall, it was white and gave her some shoulders. This year she must have decided to be comfortable and wear a gray bedsheet. As an afterthought, someone threw a jeweled accent on one shoulder and added a drape on her largest part — her hips.

My mother and I both groaned when we saw her. I like Melissa McCarthy. She’s a great physical comedian — I’d compare her to Lucille Ball or a nicer Roseanne Barr. She seems like your favorite neighbor, but that dress! It’ll stick in my brain as one of the year’s worst.

The monstrosity that someone talked Melissa into wearing had a boat neck — a bad idea for a woman with big shoulders. A better choice would have been a V or a scoop or even a Queen Anne neckline. It also had dolman sleeves, which she thought was going to disguise her farm-wife arms. Eh, not so much. Raglan sleeves gives at least the illusion of a real sleeve. Filmy butterfly sleeves on a sleeveless gown would have worked, too.

The wrap feature at the hip was unfortunate — an empire silhouette might have been more flattering. But that’s more for someone with a bust, and maybe Melissa isn’t that well-endowed. The jeweled accent on her shoulder was pretty, but one’s eye was drawn to her huge hairdo instead. She wore her dark brown locks down, and that was OK, but the hairdresser who thought giving her a big bouffant on top would make her taller ought to be shot. It overpowered her face which features the sweetest dimples and the most genuine smile.

Maybe that dress was great in person; maybe it was gorgeous on the mannequin. It just didn’t look fabulous on camera.

1 Comment

  1. Bnblu says

    I think some actresses have better stylists than others. I wasn’t fond of Ann Hathaway’s dress! It was just a little, too, pointy. Kristen Stewart wore a beautiful gown and then had the worst hair! I’m not sure why she just didn’t use her crutches instead of hobbling out on to stage. Renee Zellweger didn’t get any praise for her attempts to read names off the card. All in all I really liked Seth Mcfarlane! I especially liked the song, “We Saw Your Boobs”. ;-) And poor Jennifer Lawrence falling on her way up the stairs to receive her Oscar! She did a good job with the embarrassment and thought everyone gave her a standing ovation because they felt sorry for her. Maybe they actually liked her…or maybe that’s an honor reserved for the winners in the top categories. Kristin Chenowith did a wonderful job as an interviewer on the red carpet. She looked like Tinkerbell next to Adele, aka Andre the Giant, who sang her heart out with skyfall, but i think they might have had sound difficulties. The orchestra drowned her out in places. Anyway…we watched, too. Good music. Good jokes. I hope Seth will be back.

    Reply

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